Phelps Gets Swimsuits in a Twist

We did it! We set a new world record for writing this column. No, it wasn't the Red Bull, or the delicious iced Americano we gulped down at 3 p.m. It was the suit. The slinky, full-body, polyurethane swimsuit we wore all afternoon while typing -- shaving more than two hours off our personal best.

What the heck is going on with swimming? It used to be a simple sport: go to the pool, dive in the pool, climb back on dry land. Now our aquatic heroes are donning Bruce Wayne's underwear and the arguments over performance enhancement have become more animated than those in Bud Selig's Town Car.

The poly suits, which swimmers say give them additional buoyancy, are ravaging the sport's record book. At this week's world championships in Rome, world-record times were collapsing in, uh, world-record time. A couple people even got busted for wearing a polyurethane suit under a polyurethane suit. We know a nightclub where that's acceptable, but not a pool.

It was against this slippery backdrop that Olympic God Michael Phelps put down his Dr. Dre headphones and hopped back in the agua on NBC on Saturday against his fiercest rival: Milorad Cavic, the American-born Serb whom Mr. Phelps beat by one-hundredth of a second in the 100-meter butterfly in Beijing last summer.

Mr. Cavic goosed the feud by suggesting Mr. Phelps, who still favors his old Speedo, was hurting his chances by not wearing a poly costume. He even offered to buy Mr. Phelps a suit, which was pretty funny, considering Mr. Phelps could buy everyone in Vermont a Lamborghini.

The race was a humdinger. Mr. Cavic -- as is his history -- started briskly and finished the first turn ahead. But Mr. Phelps was nearby and surged forward in the final meters. It would not be as close as in Beijing. Mr. Phelps, who set his own world record, admitted Mr. Cavic's cocky talk worked. "How can it not motivate me?" he said to NBC's Andrea Kremer.

And the suits? Swimming stepped up to say it is banning the suits as of Jan. 1. That's silly. If they have a problem with the suits, ban them now. Meanwhile, is it possible to get one on eBay for Halloween?